Man….Ansuz brought 9 days of not sleeping through the night, and fitful weird dreams. So weird I couldn’t actually remember them well, except for my boring “prophetic” dream where I dreamt that I did a task at work that I would have to do the coming week. (So not really prophetic, but merely predictable. ) However I did get really passionate about the Standing Rock protests and about Raging Grannies. This is definitely a direction I want to take into my life, deeds not creeds and we are our deeds, after all.
I threw my back out for most of the time I spent with Uruz (and Thurisaz) The peace and abundance did seem to continue even through the pain. There was some drama that would have added a significant upheaval in our lives and it did went away during this time. When I was first studying the runes, I did some magic for protection for my child. During this time the threat went away. So while it seems a lot of the interpretations of it are negative, for my unverified personal gnosis, it has been very powerful and a force for (defensive) good.
Another weird thing is that I’ve tended to sleep much better since I’ve slept with runes under my pillow. ANd my dreams are much more vivid. The best was duringThurisaz when I had a very clear dream of talking to one of the most important (now deceased) people in my life. It again seemed like a protection because with my back I’d begun to feel pretty low, and this dream helped me feel loved and valued.
I had my rune initiation back in June, which as amazing, and intense. Couldn’t have done it with a better group of folks.
A week and a half ago, starting on Wotan’s day of course, I started sleeping with a rune under my pillow. The plan is to move through the Elder Futhak on a nine day cycle.
Fehu was the first week, and I did notice some changes. Fehu is the first rune, that explosion of energy and beginnings. In my mind I associate it with an Aries energy but I don’t know if that is “true” or just unverified personal Gnosis.pI started a lot of things, and found some activities to be easier. I started using the UFYH (Unfuck Your Habitat) app and have been really consistent with it, which makes the house somewhat cleaner and easier to live in. I took a mini personal retreat by taking the day off work on the discount movie day and seeing three movies. (In case you are wondering, no, I didn’t sneak into any! We are our deeds, and being a thief doesn’t appeal to me.) It was wonderfully refreshing.
Probably most importantly to me is that I’ve been having a mini flare of my Crohns. So I’ve been doing the 16:8 diet plan (you only eat 8 hours a day.) After about a week, many of my symptoms cleared up and I am feeling much much better. I also started to find it much easier to do. My hope/plan is to start doing the under 500 calories twice a week again, in an effort to lose some weight, as well control the Crohns. I expect it to be fairly easy.
This week is Uruz. Im only a couple of days in, but I did notice that I had a lot more equanimity with my eldest moving out. And I don’t seem to be free form worrying.
After I wrote the might THREE in a row posts about runes, I got a horrible head cold. I guess I could have powered through, but since what I wrote was barely worth writing anyway…I thought I’d wait until my head cleared.
In the meantime, I had a long scheduled Ullr blot to be held at my house. Up until the last moment, I thought someone else was going to lead it, but he had a sudden trip out of town so OOPS it was my first time leading one! I think it went okay. The Kindred I’m in usually uses Troth materials but I don’t have any of those, and I am a member of Ár nDraíocht Féin, so I based it on that. The long form of ADF rituals reminds me a lot of High Church Anglicanism, lots of special clothes and items, which I don’t have and even if I did , I sure couldn’t pull off the intricacies of the ritual properly doing it for the first time. So I adapted a solitary ritual, wrote an invocation to Ullr and we passed the horn. I’m a Sif’s woman and so I kept joking with the clouds coming that Thor was going to show up – he wouldn’t miss a party! In the round of toasts to the gods, the word Thor was mentioned and a big roll of thunder sounded. Love it!
And then we had a nice feast. I made lilac cordial, gin and club soda cocktails that were delicious as well as a chile verde stew.
I think it would have gone better if more people had known anything about Ullr besides SKIS and HUNTER. He feels like such an old friend in this house it is hard to remember to do an Ullr introduction.
So Thurisaz is viewed as destruction but to me not all destruction is bad. Perhaps just because I had an interesting experience with Thurisaz, I see it more as Thor than a frost giant, more of a helper. My son was exhibiting some personality changes, including a lot of apathy His teachers told me that he was hanging around with some kids that weren’t his usual kind of kid. They were all very worried about him. So I started imagining him surrounded with thurisaz, letting good things in but keeping bad things /people out – like a buffalo herd stands in a circle to protect the babies. He had a huge turn around and is now doing much better. I did all the normal things too of course but there was really a night and day change in him.
The rune of Audhumla! Of manifestation, of solidity and strength! As we don’t know anything really about aurochs, I think this is also a rune of mother love – gestational and life giving. – just as the drizzle (in old Norse) is life giving. I find this a great comfort to chant when I feel stressed, just thinking about the rune helps me feel grounded, centered and loved.
Since my initiation is coming up, I think it would be good for me to consider more deeply each of the runes in the Elder Futhark. The first, of course, is Fehu, the burst of cosmic energy, luck, wealth. Because I have also studied the Tarot for a number of years this does seem to me to be interestingly relate to the Fool. Fehu and the Fool both have a feeling of divine protection as well as starting off. Fehu does not feel like stagnant energy to me, there is great movement in it so the wealth is more like the wealth of experiences and active commerce rather than a Scrooge McDuck sitting on top of a pile of coins.
I just realized that I was writing this on the start of the week, so that does seem auspicious!
<a href=”https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25109947-lovecraft-country” style=”float: left; padding-right: 20px”><img border=”0″ alt=”Lovecraft Country” src=”https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1426040983m/25109947.jpg” /></a><a href=”https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25109947-lovecraft-country”>Lovecraft Country</a> by <a href=”https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/40577.Matt_Ruff”>Matt Ruff</a><br/>
My rating: <a href=”https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/1632125831″>5 of 5 stars</a><br /><br />
This is a book that made me wish I was a social studies teacher so I could use it to teach about the Jim Crow America. There is a lot of history interspersed with the horror as well as tension that originates not from supernatural forces but rather the status quo every day life of being black in the U.S. in the 1950s. Ruff stays true to Lovecraft while weaving in racism, misogyny and class. All the characters are fully formed and I would love to read more about any of the characters. <br>I was especially impressed by how the resilience of the black characters directly influences their abilities to navigate arcane horrors without losing too many sanity points. Highly recommend.
<a href=”https://www.goodreads.com/review/list/4096319-carol”>View all my reviews</a>
<a href=”https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25814412-the-civil-wars-of-julia-ward-howe” style=”float: left; padding-right: 20px”><img border=”0″ alt=”The Civil Wars of Julia Ward Howe” src=”https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1457284742m/25814412.jpg” /></a><a href=”https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25814412-the-civil-wars-of-julia-ward-howe”>The Civil Wars of Julia Ward Howe</a> by <a href=”https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/26655.Elaine_Showalter”>Elaine Showalter</a><br/>
My rating: <a href=”https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/1615563653″>4 of 5 stars</a><br /><br />
This is the story of two very gifted people that never learned to communicate. While the author is solidly in Julia’s camp, it is clear that both Samuel Howe and Julia behaved badly – to the point it almost seems they were doing things to antagonize each other. I thought it odd that the author blames Samuel for his physical ailments and Julia is blameless (even though Samuel wanted a divorce and she refused.) <br>However, the binds of patriarchy were what destroyed them both. Had they lived in a framework where the man did not always have to be correct, and have few emotions and a woman could explore her gifts they perhaps would have been well suited as both were intellectual powerhouses.
<a href=”https://www.goodreads.com/review/list/4096319-carol”>View all my reviews</a>